Sticky Situations-M-Humour (I hope...) – By kiki Posted 21/09/2007 08:54:02 PM

kiki

Posted 21/09/2007 08:54:02 PM


Ok, I've been asked by a couple of people to start posting this here. Em, so this is just a bunch of, what I hope to Booth are, slightly humourous oneshots involving B&B. Now, in the course of writing, either musie went haywire and got drunk on power or peeps insisted that I continue down certain paths, so some oneshots have turned into two, three and even fourshots. So, em, yeah. That's it, really.

Just because I can, this is for all the lovely people who have ever reviewed this. You keep me going!

*************

Humming softly to himself, Seeley Booth strode into the Jeffersonian. Up on the platform he could see Zach Addy leaning over a set of remains displayed on the table.

Why do we always have to show the bodies like that? Death isn’t perfect. Displaying them like that feels like a sham

He noticed Jack Hodgins at the far end of the platform, pointing at something on a monitor and attempting to explain it to Angela Montenegro. To her credit, Angela was smiling politely and nodding sincerely although Booth could see, even at this distance, that the focus of Angela’s attention seemed to be in running her fingers through Hodgins’ hair. Not that Hodgins seemed to mind.

Cam was standing apart from the pair, her brow furrowed as she scanned a piece of paper in her hand. Her mouth was pursed slightly in concentration.

Booth had just moved his lips to form the words “Where’s Bones?” when he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, his partner striding towards him. He turned to face her and had to suppress a grin when he did.

Temperance Brennan’s hair was quite dishevelled. He could see that it had been in a bun at some stage of the morning but now loose tendrils floated about her face and the hair at the back of her head was struggling to remain elevated. Her features were soft with sleep, her eyes gentle. She looked beautiful.

But that was not what was tugging at the corners of Booth’s mouth. No, it was rather glaringly obvious that Brennan had succumbed to a quick nap at her desk…and had managed to stain a section of her right cheekbone with blue ink in doing so.

“What?” She stood before him and was looking questionably at his frantically twitching face.

“Nothing, Bones. Nothing. It’s just that you’ve got a little something” he moved his hand in a circle across the entire circumference of his face “here.”

Booth couldn’t help but laugh as her eyes widened in panic and she placed a hand on the side of her face.

“You’ve been dre-eeaming!” He teased in a singsong voice, suppressing the urge to accompany his song with a little dance. Just barely suppressing.

Her eyes widened even further, if that were possible. How does he know? How could he possibly know? If he knows what I was dreaming about…

Brennan’s face flushed scarlet.

She started to move away from him, but to her surprise, almost as much as to his own, she was stopped by his right hand gently reaching up and holding her chin. His fingers lay along the length of the left side of her jaw line while his thumb rested next to her mouth.

Hardly daring to breathe, she raised her eyes to meet his. “I was only joking Bones. You just…you have a little ink here.” On the “here” he moved his thumb upward and gently began stroking the spot.

Every instinct in her was telling her to run. To thank him for pointing it out and quickly make her way to the restroom to remove the offending mark and calm her racing heart. But his touch felt so good…

Surprised that she hadn’t bolted, Booth set about removing the ink himself. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over the stain. He was being extremely gentle. Her skin was so fair, so pure; he didn’t want to blemish it. In spite of herself, she closed her eyes and sighed slightly.

After a moment, Booth slid his thumb from her cheekbone and rested it on her lips. “Lick it.” Her eyes shot open.

“What?!”

“Look, just lick it. The mark’s nearly gone. I’d lick it myself but it might be rude and, well, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to go around with a face that smells like coffee.”

Brennan hesitated. Ignoring her rational side, she hesitantly opened her lips and ran the tip of her tongue over the pad of Booth’s thumb. Both chose to ignore the electricity that was generated between them by this action. Booth continued his previous administrations and slowly stepped back.

“There. All done.”

She smiled at him, eyes lowered.

At this moment they realised that their little exchange had met the attention of the group on the platform. Clearing his throat loudly Booth spun around and started walking towards the exit, dragging Brennan with him. “Right, Bones. We’ve got a suspect.”

Up on the platform, Angela sighed from where she had positioned herself against the railings, the best vantage point. Hodgins poked her in the side.

“Was that a sigh of happiness or frustration?”

Angela groaned slightly and rolled her eyes. “I just wish those two would jump each other already.”

Hodgins was about to make a snappy comeback but was interrupted by Cam striding past them, nodding thoughtfully to herself, “So do I.”

Angela flashed Hodgins a triumphant smirk and went over to explain the situation to Zach who, as usual, looked utterly lost.

flyersfan35

Posted 22/09/2007 07:11:44 AM


Yay! My kiki's gonna post here!!!!!

Do I really need to say it? I LOVE SS!!!!!!! Can't get enough, so.....post girl, post!!

Oh, and I believe u owe me a new one, since u did the unthinkable in your songfic!!!!!!!!!!

kiki

Posted 22/09/2007 11:13:52 AM


Aw, thanks grandma! But I can't post a new one until I've got all the old ones up. Peeps would be confoosed!

*********
Temperance Brennan ran her fingers through her hair and sat back with a sigh. She had been writing for what felt like hours and could feel her muscles seizing up.

Cases had been pretty slow since the week before last and she had resigned herself to cataloguing the remains of Iron Age skeletons. She was itching to have another case. To be out in the field with Booth. To interview suspects with him and try to figure out motives. To stay up late into the night with him, tossing around ideas. She would also enjoy working with the rest of the team too. Of course.

Now that she had finally stopped, she started wondering vaguely what time it was. The growling of her stomach seemed eager to inform her that it was well past feeding time. Booth would kill her.

Almost as if reading her thoughts, Seeley Booth strode into her office. Hastily placing a hand over her stomach, as though to quench the noise, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“What do you want, Booth?”

He placed a hand on his heart and dropped his head, as though defeated.

“Now is that any way to greet your favourite F.B.I. agent?”

Grinning broadly at him she chirped, “You’ve been eating!”

His brow furrowed in confusion, he nodded. “Yeah, I just had the most amazing lunch...cheese everywhere...and I thought I’d come in and see if you’ve eaten, coz I figured you hadn’t and...how did you know I’ve eaten?”

She flashed him her most superior look, stood up and leaned towards him, placing her hands flat on her desk as she did so.

“The little piece of lettuce you’ve got caught in your teeth was a pretty good indicator.”

He groaned inwardly and unconsciously copied her movements until both of them were leaning across the desk from either side.

“Where is it?” He cocked his head to the side and grinned at her.

She bared her teeth at him and tapped her two front teeth with her index finger. He exposed his own teeth and indicated the ones in question. She nodded.

Neither of them moved from their positions as Booth ran his nail between his teeth.

Brennan giggled. “No, not der. Der!”

“Der?”

Both were having trouble understanding the other through clenched teeth, but that made it all the more amusing. After a number of minutes, and quite a few giggling fits on Brennan’s part, the lettuce was removed.

He leaned in a little bit more and flashed his charm smile at her, still leaving all of his teeth exposed. Brennan attempted to reciprocate the action but was having trouble doing so as she found the whole exercise quite humorous.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them both turn towards the door, still grinning like Chesire cats. Angela stood in the doorway, a thoroughly bemused expression on her face.

“Am I interrupting something? Are you guys high?”

“Nope. Not at all. I was just asking Bones out to lunch, that’s all.”

Snapping out of her trance, Brennan frowned at him. “You just ate. You can’t have two lunches.”

Already making his way out of the door and past a chuckling Angela, Booth called over his shoulder, “Course I can Bones. Just watch me.”

Shaking her head slightly, though whether it was at herself or Booth she wasn’t sure, Brennan rounded her desk and jogged after him, muttering to herself.

CheeseBK

Posted 22/09/2007 01:10:06 PM


the sticky situations..... yay.. i love them!!!!

polygirl

Posted 22/09/2007 03:39:59 PM


yay for kiki

whoooo I love this fic

kiki

Posted 23/09/2007 05:30:58 PM


Thanks for the comments poly and cheese! Here's the next one...

************
Flustered, Brennan rushed from her bedroom to the bathroom and back again. Growling in frustration when she realised she had actually forgotten to do anything in the bathroom, she hurried back and fumbled frantically for her toothbrush.

Booth had said he’d call into her this morning and take her out for a quick coffee before work. Which had seemed fine, at the time. Only Brennan had overslept slightly this morning and had completely forgotten their prearranged rendezvous until a few minutes ago.

To be fair to her, Booth had made the plans yesterday and so many countless thoughts filtered through Brennan’s head on a daily basis that she really couldn’t be held accountable when she forgot a few details.

Finally managing to get the toothpaste to squirt onto the toothbrush, and not onto the floor as the three previous attempts had done, Brennan rushed back to her room, cleaning her teeth frantically as she went. She’d already had the quickest shower of her life, now she just had to figure out what to wear.

That shirt and those jeans? Or that top and those trousers? Those trousers only work with those boots though…

Holding up the various combinations to herself in front of the mirror, she decided that the top and trousers were best. She hastily pulled on the trousers and then looked around, half fearful, for the boots.

Growling again, she set off on a thorough boot search, jogging through her apartment, depositing the toothbrush, and her subsequent mouthful of liquid, into the bathroom on her way.

In the living room, she fell over something on the floor and groaned inwardly as her knees hit the coach.

Found the boots

She quickly slipped the boots on and wobbled off to her room once more. Just as she’d passed through the doorway, she heard Booth calling her.

“Bones? You ready?”

Grabbing her top off the bed, she wrenched it on and called out, “Come on in, it’s open.”

She heard the sounds of her partner entering the apartment and the shuffling of feet as he looked for her. A moment later, his head popped around the bedroom door.

“You ok? All set?”

She nodded quickly at him.

“Just looking for my bag.”

He nodded thoughtfully, not fully comprehending why a missing bag was such a problem, and crossed the room to look out of the window.

“Nice view, Bones.”

She cast him a quick appreciative glance, then continued her search of the room.

“Eh…Bones?”

“Hmm?” She glanced at him expectantly, although her mind was still on the bag problem.

“Your...eh…your top.”

Finally spotting the bag, she pounced on it triumphantly and then turned to face him, blowing strands of hair out of her eyes.

“What about it?”

“It’s inside out.”

“Oh.” She looked down at herself. So it was.

“Right, well, you just…” She made a circling motion with her fingers. “And I’ll just…”

Smirking slightly to himself, Booth obediently twirled around and faced the window. He quickly realised, however, that he could see his partner’s reflection in the glass. He opened his mouth to inform her of the situation, then abruptly changed his mind. It was, after all, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

She’s a smart girl. She can figure it out if she wants to

Although Brennan’s representation in the glass was slightly out of focus, given her distance from the window, Booth saw enough to make his stomach flip-flop and his mouth go dry.

“Ok, I’m done.” Booth spun around and faced her.

She raised an eyebrow. “I hope you didn’t peek.”

“Me? Peek? Never! I’m insulted you’d even suggest such a thing. That is questioning my honour, right there. You should be…”

Rolling her eyes, Brennan marched out of the room.

“You coming? I’m in desperate need of coffee.”

Booth slowly let out a breath of air. He mentally shrugged himself, trying to banish the alluring images he’d been witness to only moments before.

You’re not the only one

CheeseBK

Posted 23/09/2007 05:36:11 PM


I love this one kiki.... and the endless thinking of clothes-combinations... I admit, I am just like that....

Bella Loony

Posted 23/09/2007 07:47:18 PM


OMG Kiki!! These stories are so much fun!! I love them!! Haha, oh when Booth told her to lick his finger, I would do a whole lot more than lick his finger!!

The "no, not der, der"

"der"

That was priceless!! haha so good!

Booth being a gentleman and still catching a glimpse that was nice too! Great job, I can't wait for more Sticky Situations!! Brilliant!

Deputy Director Bella Loony

kiki

Posted 25/09/2007 02:50:05 PM


Aw, thanks so much cheese and bella!

On we go...

***************

Zach, Angela, Hodgins and Brennan were all standing on the platform, listening as Cam debriefed them on their latest victim.

It was a sensitive matter. The girl had been found under the foundations of a former senator’s house. Very delicate. Cam was advising caution.

Brennan let out a low sigh through her nose, pursing her lips slightly as she did. She knew Cam was only trying to be thorough and she admired her professionalism, but she was frantic to start looking at the remains.

Booth swiped himself in and moved towards Brennan on the platform. She noticed something out of place as he did so.

Trying to draw as little attention as possible, Booth positioned himself beside his partner and stood, silently listening to Cam. Most of what she was saying he knew already. Still, it never hurt to spend a little time in Brennan’s presence, just appreciating her and breathing in her scent.

Lost in his own thoughts, he failed to notice the object of his wonderings gesturing at him with her eyes. He raised his eyebrows at her.

Obviously Brennan was attempting to be stealthy, which was funny enough in itself, but her supposed covertness was drawing the attention of Zach and Hodgins, who were only too eager for distraction.

Her eyes were huge and she kept alternating between staring intently into his eyes and then looking pointedly downwards. Bewildered, Booth cast a quick glance down towards his shoes. Seeing nothing out of place he returned his gaze upwards with a slight shrug.

Brennan continued her little movements, her eyes almost popping out of her head with the effort to remain inconspicuous. Squeezing his lips tightly together against the laugh that bubbled below the surface, Booth returned to raising his eyebrows.

Her face turning a fetching shade of magenta, Brennan began bobbing her head, making a conscious attempt to jut her chin downward. She looked so much like a flustered chicken that Booth simply couldn’t keep the snort of laughter from escaping.

Cam stopped mid-sentence and looked inquiringly at the two. “Something wrong?”

With a sigh of frustration, Brennan reached across Booth, her hand coming to rest midway between his crotch and his hip. That in itself did very interesting things to Booth’s lower region.

But when she attempted to move her fingers lower, to zip up his fly from it’s apparently fallen position, Booth couldn’t take it and jumped back, a strangled cry accompanying his move.

“Dude.” Hodgins chuckled, shaking his head at Booth’s feminine sound.

Struggling to regain his composure, Booth glared at Brennan.

Both started defending themselves at the same time. Frustrated words blended together until, eventually, the two had no idea what they were saying. It was an even bigger mystery to the four eagerly listening in.

A discreet, though not in the least bit authoritarian, throat clearing from Cam brought them back to earth and called a halt to their indistinguishable rant. The two were breathing heavily, faces coloured with exertion.

“Bones! You don’t just…you can’t possibly think…I can…put your hands…inappropriate….” He spluttered in exasperation, his words trailed off only at the sound of laughter from the group. Laughter from everyone but his meddlesome partner.

Hands on slender hips, she faced him.

“Well, you weren’t doing anything about it. I tried to tell you…”

He cut her off indignantly, “Eye movements and head bobbing?” He did an exaggerated impersonation of her actions, drawing further expressions of mirth from their audience.

“That’s your version of telling me? And, even if I didn’t get it, when let’s face it, how could I, you don’t just run your hands all over me!”

“That wasn’t me running my hands all over you.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but an entirely new set of images popped into his head at her words. He shut his mouth with a snap, quickly thinking better of it.

Shaking her head slightly, a slight smile gracing her lips, Cam looked between the two. “Shall I go on?”

Refusing to look at one another, Brennan and Booth nodded curtly, each sulkily crossing their arms in front of their respective chests and glaring moodily ahead, both convinced they were completely in the right.

“OK then.”

Bella Loony

Posted 26/09/2007 01:56:53 PM


Okay seriously if his fly was open, I wouldn't be telling him to close it!!! Haha, but that was AWESOME. I love how you get everyone into a scene! Very well done Kiki, can't wait for more!!

Deputy Director Bella Loony

PIMP

Posted 26/09/2007 03:18:03 PM


Funny stuff Kiki.Enjoyable to read.Ever been in any of those situations yourself? lol

Kiki

Posted 26/09/2007 06:25:40 PM

Yay! Thanks bella and cementhead (hee hee, love the name). And, if you don't mind, I'm gonna refrain form answering the "any of these ideas come from personal experience" question. Peeps might think less of me if I did! Not that that would be hard...

*************************
That button

He knew he shouldn’t have, but he’d spent most of the ride, heck, most of the morning, staring at that button. That one, unremarkable, top button.

Giving himself a mental shake, Booth returned his attention to the road. Unfortunately, he was in the middle of a queue of a long line of traffic waiting for the lights to change. Deciding he needed something else to distract him, he stole a quick glance at his partner’s face.

Temperance Brennan was glaring out of the passenger seat window. Her posture was stiff and he could see a muscle working in her jaw. He sighed quietly. After all, no need to give her an excuse to turn the anger on him.

His partner’s hair was down, flowing over her shoulders and glinting in the afternoon sun. Her mood had painted a light pink spot on either cheek. She looked breathtaking...but it still wasn’t enough to wrench Booth’s attention from that captivating button.

Brennan was wearing a dark blouse and flowy white skirt. Booth’s explanation was that she had attempted to dress summery but simply couldn’t bring herself to dress from head to toe in pale colours. Not that he was complaining. Because that blouse had a button…

It was a relatively low-cut blouse. It was tasteful enough for work but still showed the beginnings of the swell of her cleavage. And that top button…oh, that top button was hanging on by a thread. Sometime during the course of the morning Booth had noticed this interesting development and hadn’t been able to think rationally since. If that button decided to make a break for it…all his Christmases would come at once. Booth grunted in frustration. The devil himself was holding that button in place.

Some time later, Booth pulled into the car park at the Jeffersonian. He turned the keys in the ignition and, bracing himself, faced his partner.

“So…”

Brennan glared. “So, Booth, that was a complete waste of time.”

He nodded, wearing his best sympathy face. It did nothing to improve her mood.

“The guy told us nothing. It was pointless. The worst part was, I couldn’t figure out if he was lying or if he really didn’t know anything or…”

“Bones, the other agents will keep questioning him. They’ll figure out whether or not he knows something. No big deal.”

“But it is a big deal.” Brennan threw her hands up to emphasise her point, her body jerking forward with the vehemence of her protest.

Booth would never know if her hand had caught off the button, if the force of her movement had been the last straw or if it was simply divine intervention that caused that top button to finally pop off.

He didn’t really care either.

Brennan’s mouth formed a little ‘o’ as a substantial amount of cleavage was suddenly on display, as was part of her bra.

“Very nice, Bones.”

Brennan glowered.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean your…not that that’s not very nice...it is…they are…I meant your…em…”

Realising there was nothing he could say to alleviate the situation, Booth hastily picked up the jailbreak button, handed it to her and shuffled out of the car.

Brennan pushed her way out of the door, slamming it behind her. Booth locked the car and moved around to his partner’s side. He was very sorry to see that she was now holding the fabric closed with her right hand.

Scowling darkly, Brennan began striding towards the front of the building. Booth jogged after her.

“I don’t know why you’re so mad, Bones. There’ll be a safety pin or something in the lab to fix you up. And, can I just take the opportunity to say, red really suits you. Looked kinda satiny as well. Didn’t know you had it in you, Bones.”

A snort from his partner told him this hadn’t helped. Oh well. He hadn’t really expected it to.

“I feel I should point out, though, that it seems you have made a terrible fashion faux pas.”

In spite of herself, her interest was piqued and she turned to face him, a questioning look across her features. He’d started this; he might as well finish it.

“I just mean that, for a lady, the “upper underwear” should match the “lower underwear”. It’s just, that skirt is so white, almost see through white, that it couldn’t possibly be housing any red underwear beneath it. Tut, tut Bones. Red and white? You should know better. So, my point is…” He trailed off, index finger mid accusatory wiggle. It had seemed funny when he started it.

Brennan gave him a withering glance, as if he had just made an extremely ridiculous argument. She resumed her striding once more.

Booth slowed to a saunter, pleased with himself. The look on her face had been so incredibly worth it.

Her voice carried back to him.

“There’s one fatal flaw in your argument, Booth.”

“Uh huh. What’s that, Bones?”

“You assume I’m wearing “lower underwear”.”

There was a resounding crash as Seeley Booth completely failed to recognise the object before him and walked, smack-bang, into the front door.

BGWGscienceteacher

Posted 26/09/2007 11:02:41 PM


I loved this last chapter. I could just see the look on Booth's face.

Bella Loony

Posted 27/09/2007 02:19:08 AM


Seriously Kiki, I am pissing myself laughing!! haha, Booth would totally walk head on into a door, fo' shizzle!! Haha, that was priceless, and I could totally see Bones saying something as bluntly as that!! Soooo good, I cannot wait for your next post! BRILLIANT!! Haha, still laughing!

Deputy Director Bella Loony

flyersfan35

Posted 27/09/2007 07:03:09 AM


Oh, kiki, what can I say??!! The more I read these, the funnier they get!! Hehe!! I freaking LOVE ss, which u well know!!! Haha, and I gotta agree with loony, if Booth's fly was open, there'd be NO WAY I'd be telling him to close it! lol!