If You're Reading This [Tim McGraw]

Zack stared at the page with his former friend’s hasty scrawl covering it. He’d read the words several times over trying to make himself believe Booth was gone. It didn’t seem possible to him, but his thoughts didn’t matter. Only reality mattered.

He realized that Booth had an advanced vocabulary, even if he didn’t use it often. It occurred to Zack that they hadn’t known each other well. The only things they had in common were time spent overseas, a crush on Brennan, and a child they had kept secret. None of that was important any longer especially as the only thing anyone had known between them was the overseas experience.

He read the letter again, noting everything Booth had asked him to do. Zack called Rebecca and scheduled an appointment with her to discuss the part about Parker. He then called Cullen to get the information on Booth’s parents and gave them a call to ask permission to pay them a visit. Forgiveness had been granted though there was no reason for his request of it.

A bar was his first stop after leaving his office at the Jeffersonian. No matter how hard he tried, Zack just couldn’t get it through his head. A few drinks may help his frantic mind find a semblance of peace. If he couldn’t get his mind to settle, he would have to make a trip to the library to find numerous books to submerse himself into.

Before he even began drinking, he called his son back in Michigan. It was important he spoke to the small boy. His son made everything right in the world, or at least as much as one could expect after losing a friend. They talked for nearly twenty minutes before Ella made her son say goodbye. She came on the phone and asked when he was coming to see the boy again. Zack made plans for two weekends after this and they said their goodbyes.

He drank his mind to shatters and called a cab. Home was not where he wanted to be, but he couldn’t go to work. As soon as he arrived at Hodgins’ house, Zack went to his bathroom and stood in the shower. He never cried, but the tears came and he couldn’t stop them. Stepping out, he went and curled up on his bed to try to sleep. Morning had arrived before he knew it.

Jack Hodgins was stunned silly. Booth had just told him that he liked working with the Squints and asked him to teach his conspiracy theories to Parker. Jack knew he had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation.

As he realized that Special Agent Seeley Booth really was dead and had written him a letter with some of his last requests, Jack broke down. Tears poured down the paranoid man’s cheeks and snot ran down his nostrils until he was forced to blow his nose. Wiping his face on his sleeve, he prepared to leave his office for the day, maybe the next day as well. It would depend on how the rest of the Squints handled the situation.

Hodgins sighed as he looked around the lab. It would never be the same. Who knew what Agent would be permanently assigned to the Jeffersonian now that Booth was gone. Since he had left, they had had numerous temporary partners that Brennan had managed to run off within a case. Rumor had it that one or two had asked to be transferred to other states because of the Squints. Jack smirked with delight at the fact that the Jeffersonian played a part in the weeding of useless Agents and would continue to be for a while…

The drive back to his apartment was a simple routine, something he did twice every day without thinking. Instead of going to do more research in his massive home office, Jack went to the game room that had a bar and drank until he passed out, just as he had done when his parents told him they weren’t proud of his choice of a career.