boy troubles...

Ok so normally I don't really project my love issues to the world, but I feel pretty comfortable here and know most of the "regulars" around here. So here's my thing. I like this one guy A LOT like we only met last monday but we've hung out three times and every time I pick up this vibe that he likes me and can sense that he's flirting and everything, and I pretty much flirt back, but the thing is, he has a girlfriend. So avoiding the "other" woman scenario, I want to keep the interest there just in case things fall through with his girlfriend, he'll have someone to run to. BUT I'm kinda falling for this other guy who likes my best friend, but my best friend likes another guy who doesn't want to be in a relationship with her right now. AND ON TOP OF THAT (as if this could get ANY more confusing) I come to find out this other guy in my math class likes me. So I was like ok cool, whatever, we've never talked before, so he adds me on myspace and we start talking and stuff and finally I give him my number and we've been texting, so I told him to come hang out with me before class today and he was like No I'm too scared, and I was like I don't know why you're scared, I'm not that horrible, ya know? Anyways, I went ice skating tonight and invited him to go with me and my friends and he was like no I'm too scared and I'm like seriously? You talk to me on texting you know I'm not horrible so why can't you come spend time with me? But whatever. I don't wanna have to sit there and tell him I like someone else ESPECIALLY if that someone else breaks up with his girlfriend OR the other someone else gives up on my best friend and starts liking me.

So it's all confusing. But I don't know what to do about it... I don't think I've ever been in this type of situation. =\

I'm not really good at this stuff, so if it makes sense, use it; if not, that's all right, too. But I do have a moderate streak of common sense and practicality that might be helpful.

How do you feel about the guy from your math class? Does he have romantic potential (if he can get over being scared, that is)? Or would you rather have him as a friend? Or keep it to MySpace? I had a guy be interested in me for a long time before anything actually happened, because I (apparently) had a rather visible crush on someone else, and he didn't want to "interfere." I would have gone out with him if he had asked, crush or not. We had a few words about that, as I recall. But we were friends, and good ones, first. But maybe that's why he's not jumping at the opportunity--he thinks you're taken somehow. That, or he's really shy, or possibly playing games, to be briefly negative. In any case, if you're not that interested in him, don't push it; let him know you're going skating or whatever, and he's welcome to join you (and your friends as appropriate) if he likes. If he really does lkike you, I wonder why he's so scared, you're a sweet person.
I think you're wise to avoid the Other Woman scenario too--but you knew that.

Let's back up a few steps--do you want to be involved with anyone right now? I mean, would it be a bad thing to simply be single until the time is right to be involved with one of these guys? Because if you stay single and Math Boy doesn't man up, you can take advantage of any situation that comes up without breaking hearts or other complications. That would be my preference in this situation, if it was me, but I'm rather quiet and reserved about such things.

So? Was that at all helpful? (I would really like to see some of the guys' opinions on this.)

well... i am a guy...

My surgesstion.... is... not rush anything... I can tell you can't really know who you really like and who your not...

Don't take a guy because he is available... take someone because he makes you feel good en only that guy... if it's wrong somehow... don't do it...

And guys are easy... really they are... but to take the right one it's just a slow proces... I say it again DON'T RUSH!!!!

Who care if your single now... you are young...

And avoid the "other woman" yes of course... don't even flirt... he HAS a girlfriend... so leave him alone... spend time as a friend sure... but not more....

Ella, it seems to me you want to fall in love right now. ^^ Three different guys are on your mind. The only thing I can say, the guy with the girlfriend might be something to be really careful about. Sure, be friendly,and you never know what might happen between him and his current girl, just don't get played. I'm not saying stay away or anything, relationships at your age can change in a minute and you never know when he might be available, just don't be the cause of it.

I'm not sure about the shy guy. He needs to get out more. If he's talking and texting to you, why not get together in a low pressure atmosphere like ice skating with a group, or just hang out with you at school? Sounds like he needs a big confidence boost, he has to stop acting like he's 13, and also learn how to deal with this sort of thing AWAY from the computer or phone, and do it in Real Life!

As for the guy who likes your best friend, if she has no interest in him, and you like him, I'm sure you can let him know that somehow, (FLIRT!) and he may respond. You're a pretty girl with a great personality, so that shouldn't be difficult to at least get his attention, let him know there's some interest on your part, then it could go from there. =]

dawnsfire wrote:I'm not really good at this stuff, so if it makes sense, use it; if not, that's all right, too. But I do have a moderate streak of common sense and practicality that might be helpful.

I do appreciate the help. =]

[quoteHow do you feel about the guy from your math class? Does he have romantic potential (if he can get over being scared, that is)? Or would you rather have him as a friend? Or keep it to MySpace? I had a guy be interested in me for a long time before anything actually happened, because I (apparently) had a rather visible crush on someone else, and he didn't want to "interfere." I would have gone out with him if he had asked, crush or not. We had a few words about that, as I recall. But we were friends, and good ones, first. But maybe that's why he's not jumping at the opportunity--he thinks you're taken somehow. That, or he's really shy, or possibly playing games, to be briefly negative. In any case, if you're not that interested in him, don't push it; let him know you're going skating or whatever, and he's welcome to join you (and your friends as appropriate) if he likes. If he really does lkike you, I wonder why he's so scared, you're a sweet person.
I think you're wise to avoid the Other Woman scenario too--but you knew that. [/quote]

I don't know what this kids issue is, I tried to tell him that there's nothing to be scared of, but it's like if someones giving you the green light and you still avoid it like the plague, they might think something is wrong with them or you just aren't that interested. I get that you may be a little shy about this stuff. I mean I am too, but at least I can flirt with someone I'm interested in. So whatever it's not my issue to deal with and I gave it my best shot, I told him to come hang out with me at school and I told him to come ice skating and both times he turned me down cause he was too scared. So if I can't help him, then I don't know what to tell ya.

Let's back up a few steps--do you want to be involved with anyone right now? I mean, would it be a bad thing to simply be single until the time is right to be involved with one of these guys? Because if you stay single and Math Boy doesn't man up, you can take advantage of any situation that comes up without breaking hearts or other complications. That would be my preference in this situation, if it was me, but I'm rather quiet and reserved about such things.

So? Was that at all helpful? (I would really like to see some of the guys' opinions on this.)

to be honest, If I could have one of them, I'd choose the one who likes my best friend, first then the one with girlfriend. But I don't want to get involved as you said. And I mentioned to someone else a little bit ago that I don't want to settle with the kid in my math class and then come to find out that he liked me but was waiting on my best friend to figure out what she wanted (which isn't him) then I either break someone's heart or have my own heart broken by knowing what I could have and what I do have. It's like finding out you had enough money for a lobster but settled for the second choice of flounder because it was cheaper. And I'm not one to break hearts so I don't wanna settle just so I can "have" a boyfriend. I'm also not that bitchy, needy or desperate. Which is what you were saying, right?

Yeah, pretty much. Go out, have fun, but don't settle for 2nd best or worse.
You sound a lot more perceptive than me, so that's a plus!

dawnsfire wrote:Yeah, pretty much. Go out, have fun, but don't settle for 2nd best or worse.
You sound a lot more perceptive than me, so that's a plus!

I don't wanna settle and I probably won't. He's been ignoring me so, I don't know what his deal is, I don't really care. like I said I like someone else.