Hound and Hare (Complete)

(Chapter 16)

Day 84
Airborne at 20,000 Feet First Class Cabin
En Route on Honeymoon



Booth tilted his head slightly and said “Bones, now that we’re married, we need to look at a few things concerning how we are going to work this out.”

Quizzically she looked and said “What do you mean?”

Well, I’m sure there are all kinds of small, and maybe large, adjustments we are both going to need to make to meld smoothly with the other person.”

“That sounds reasonable. What comes to mind?”

“Well, changing the last name for example. We should follow the custom to show we are a complete family unit.”

“Certainly, that is fine by me. I kind of like the sound of Mr. Seeley Joseph Brennan. Yes, that would be good!”

He stared at her with innocent eyes and said “Bones, I mean for you to change yours to Mrs. Temperance Booth.”

“Why would I want to do that? I’m the world famous author and anthropologist while you are the officious government bureaucrat with the family name of a despicable cad.”

A few minutes later she turns to him and adds “Booth, now that I have thought about it perhaps we can come to a compromise.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“You could change your name to Seeley Booth-Brennan and I could change mine to Temperance Brennan-Booth.”

“That might be a bit confusing for other people. If someone was to hail one of us would they know to call out ‘Mr. Booth-Brennan’ and I would answer, but if they called out ‘Mr. Brennan-Booth’ I would ignore them?”

“You do have a point. I know, let’s change both names completely. That would be fair to both of us.” Her eyes lit up with excitement.

“Do you have any suggestions, Bones?” He asked anyway, knowing she already did.

“Yes! We could change our names to Tony and Roxy. I will be Roxy! That way we could work under cover as the pompous Seeley Booth and the dashing Temperance Brennan. I’ll be Temperance.”

“Bones, you’re having too much fun with this, maybe we should talk about names some other time.”

“OK, Booth. Do you want to discuss any other communal issues? How about food?”

“Sure, why not, Bones.?” He said cautiously.

“How many microwave ovens do you think we’ll need?” She leaned and spoke impishly.

“Bones, you lost me. What do you mean?” Booth could feel his head beginning to hurt.

“Well, I have noticed that you have a habit of reheating your coffee by putting it in a microwave. Given a house with multiple rooms and possibly floors, how many do you think is enough? One per room, One per floor, One per house?”

“Bones, we’ll figure that out when we get there.”

She leaned a little closer and added “When we go to shop at the grocery market should we take separate carts and make our own preferred purchases, or take one cart and fill it with everything?”

“Bones, a single cart and fill it together. We do everything together, remember?”

“OK Booth. Do you want to start at the dry goods section, working through the more perishable items until we get to the frozen foods before checking out; or do you want to start at one end of the market and go row by row until we get to the other end?”

“Either one is fine, whatever you prefer to do.” Booth said as he began to think fondly of aspirin.

“I prefer to relax in my bathtub soaking in bubble bath and sipping a glass of wine while you do the food shopping, but that doesn’t seem to be an option here.

“Bones, let’s try a different subject. How about the family car?” He said with exasperation.

“What family car? You don’t own a car. You have been driving loaners assigned to you by the FBI for a couple years. The Mercedes is mine.”

Booth leaned in close to her and gave her his saddest ‘puppy stare’ then said “You mean you won’t share, Bones?”

“Of course I won’t. I have seen how you treat the government cars and what you did to that poor Mini in England! I’ve also noticed that you are distracted very easily when you are driving.”

Booth’s head snapped in her direction and he huffed “Bones, I’m distracted when driving by having to answer your questions.”

“See, that is what I mean! Now if you are asking me to cosign a loan so you can buy a car of your own, I might think about it. Then again, I still have recurrent memories of that poor Mini bouncing around the roads of the UK.”

Silence settled for a few minutes then Temperance said “Booth, how about sex?”

“Bones, what do you mean?”

“Are we allowed to have sex now that we are married or is that forbidden by diktat?”

“Why would you ask that? What gives you that idea?”

“I realized that my knowledge of modern social mores is often lacking, so I have been watching some collections of TV programs to better understand how relationships work.”

“Which ones have you been watching, Bones?” he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Mooning somebody or other and X something or other.”

Booth dropped his forehead into his hands and queried “What conclusions have you come to from that?”

“As I understand it, when we were just partners, we couldn’t have sex together, no matter how much we both wanted to, and instinctively knew the other one did too. When, after a lot of years of pain and agony, we changed our status from being partners to being a couple by saying a few simple words; we could have sex whenever, wherever and however we wanted. The more often the occurrence and the more ridiculous the location, was so much the better, but we could only do that for a short time because our social lives end at that point.”

‘That sounds about right so far, Bones.”

“Once we married, our entire lives drop off into oblivion and have no value anymore. Booth, if I had realized that I would not have married you. Why would I give up sex whenever I want it for the black hole of oblivion?”

“Bones, don’t worry. We can still have sex.”

“Oh great!. Perhaps we should discuss what that means now that we are married.”

“What do you mean, now?” Booth tilted his head back and closed his eyes, wondering where this was going.

“Well, are there any guidelines on how often is considered adequate? Once a week, once a day, or once an hour? Should I simply greet you at the door each day clad only in my bathrobe so you can decide which day you wish to exercise your alpha male prerogatives? Should I have additional soundproofing and curtains installed in my office at the Jeffersonian for those days when your alpha maleness overwhelms you?”

“Bones, that sounds quite appealing but I think we will be able to create a somewhat more romantic atmosphere than that.”

“Ah yes, I remember seeing something about that kind of thing. They used terms like ‘fantasy night,’ ‘tryst night,’ and ‘secret getaway.‘ In anticipation of those events should I primarily do my preparatory shopping at the costume shop, hardware store, sporting goods store, lubricants department, or the plastics distributor?

“Bones, I think we are wandering off of the track a bit.”

“I don’t recall seeing anything about having sex on tracks, but I guess we could try.”

With great relief Booth suddenly said “Bones, hear that announcement! It’s about time for us to land. We’ll have to continue this conversation later.”

“Booth, I think I......uh... we have a problem.”

“What is that, Bones?”

“I forgot to claim some spare items in my luggage when I filled out the customs form for the stewardess.”

“Which spare items?”

“A skull and a few assorted upper body bones.”

“Why did you bring those on our honeymoon?”

“I assumed that since I will probably have quite a bit of spare time over the next two weeks, I’ll practice some of my investigative techniques.”

“Why do you think you are going to have spare time? Don’t you know what a honeymoon is?”

“Of course. Traditionally it allowed newlywed husbands and wives of betrothed marriages a chance to become acclimated to each other as it might have been the first time they met. However, we do not need a period of acclimation since we have spent five years together and know each other intimately, thus only need to satisfy whatever sexual needs there may be.”

“Bones, you know that five years we were together and missed out on all the sexual experiences we could have had?”

“Of course, I still regret it deeply.”

“Bones, we are going to spend the next two weeks alone together trying to get back as much of that as we can in that timeframe.”

She stopped for a minute to consider that as her eyes began to glisten and the pupils expanded. Then she said “Why didn’t you tell me that before we left?”

“Why, what difference would it have made?”

“I would have taken three or four weeks of leave instead of two!”

“Bones, one other thing. Would you make me a promise?”

“Perhaps. What is it?”

“No more body parts on family outings.”

“That sounds acceptable.”



------------------------


24 Hours Later

At The Honeymoon Site



“Booth, I do not know. I think we might be close. The directions the man at the car rental place gave are confusing. We should have seen the hotel by now but that construction detour has us approaching from a different tangent.”

“OK Bones, there are a couple houses over this way. Let’s try asking for some directions at one of them.”

“Booth strode up to the door of the nearest house and knocked on it as Temperance followed behind him. He waited a minute then knocked a second time.

Shortly after that, a young woman answered the door and looked up at Booth. “Yes sir, may I help you.” she said.

Temperance stepped out from behind Booth and said “A man once told me I could get a miserable cup of coffee here anytime I wanted to.”

“Dr. Brennan!” squealed Deirdre. She then hopped forward and hugged Temperance as she said “Dr. Brennan, thank you so much for choosing me. I promise I won’t ever let you down.”

Temperance softly spoke into her ear “I know that Deirdre. Welcome to the Jeffersonian family.”

Deirdre let loose of Temperance and turned back in to the doorway. She then called out “Dad! Mom! Come to the door quickly!”

Hound and Hare came to the door and shouted “Tempe!” almost in unison. There were big hugs all around amongst them.

Temperance then said “I would like to introduce a friend of mine...”

“from Afghanistan? “Hare asked with a sly smile.

Temperance couldn’t restrain herself and broke into a big smile too as she answered “Yes.” She then continued “Hound, Hare, I’d like you to meet my husband, Seeley Booth.”

“Husband!” said Hound. “That warrants twice the congratulations to you both.”

Hare hugged Temperance a second time at the word husband.

Booth smiled at both Hound and Hare as he said “Bones tells me that we are together now, safe and sound as husband and wife due very much to kind and caring council you gave her in a time of need. For that you both have my undying gratitude.”




The End

Thank you for posting this story. I enjoyed it so much. Write some more for us to get us through the tough days ahead with the Bones premiere!

Pat wrote:Thank you for posting this story. I enjoyed it so much. Write some more for us to get us through the tough days ahead with the Bones premiere!

Thank you for the kind comments!

I am working on another approach to the B&B story that has kind of a Twilight Zone or Science Fiction twist to it. It currently has about 54 sections (600 words each) and I think it will finish with about 65+ sections. I will start moving it over here a few sections at a time until it is finally completed.

Hurray! That is great news. I will be watching for it.