Breaking Point by Luli posted 27/09/2007

Breaking Point

Disclaimer: No, they're not mine. I only wish they were, specially Booth.

Author's Note: Well, this was the very first Bones fic I ever wrote. It is angsty and totally unlike what I usually write for those who know me, but it was just begging to be written and I couldn't resist. But it does get better, it is me after all. It is the new and improve version, betaed beautifully by Puppet. So, I hope you enjoy and let me know. And don't worry, a lot of it is already written, so updates shouldn't be too long in coming.

Chapter 1

He looked at her with resignation and a sad smile. “I am going to miss you and us,” he said, softly.

“What?” Temperance asked, in alarm as her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I can’t keep doing this, Temperance.” He answered with that same resignation that was starting to scare her. “Especially when it’s clear that you’re ready to give up and move on.”

“What are you talking about?!” She demanded, getting frustrated and angry, as well, as scared. “I know that we’re having some problems . . .”

“We?” He demanded, getting somewhat angry himself.

Temperance looked at him for a few seconds and then rather ungraciously gave a sigh and said, “Fine, I, I have some problems that I have to work through, but you knew that when we started this, and you said you were ok with it!”

But Seeley was already shaking his head before she finished. “I have no problem working through issues with you or waiting for you to work through them by yourself. I do have a problem when you stop working through them and are apparently more than happy to flirt with other men.”

“Flirting? I was not flirting, I was just talking. And if you would stopped being so damn possessive and such an alpha male. . .”

“Stop,” Seeley said, so quietly, that Temperance was surprised into silence. “You are not that clueless – not now and you won’t draw me into another useless argument about my so called alpha male tendencies. I saw how you looked at that guy, Temperance. And if you can have that look in your eyes when you look at another guy, then . . .” He sighed and shook his head. “I can’t keep doing this,” he repeated in such a sad, resigned and tired voice that Angela, who had come to the restaurant with the couple and had been listening to the argument, felt her heart break a little for him. “I won’t keep doing this,” he said in a voice a little stronger. He then sighed again and asked, "Oh, what's the use? You're not going to listen to anything I say now." He shook his head and said, “I’ll see you later.” And with that, he left

A somewhat awkward silence descended on the table as the two friends watched Booth leave the restaurant. Brennan finally turned to look at Angela only to find that her friend was getting ready to leave and go after Booth.

“Angela? What are you doing?” She asked, surprised.

“I’m going to try and catch him,” Angela answered, as if it was obvious, which it was, but Brennan still couldn’t understand why she was doing it.

“Why?”

“Because he needs someone right now,” Angela answered matter of factly, as she pushed back from the table.

“What about me?” Brennan asked, incredulous. “I’m the one that just got dumped!”

Angela paused in mid-rise before continuing to stand up, as she answered. “That wasn’t you getting dumped. That was Booth trying to protect what he can of his heart.”

“Oh, please,” Brennan snorted. “Don’t be so melodramatic. If he would just control those alpha male. . .”

“Could you please,” Angela interrupted. “Stop with the alpha male tendencies argument! If you didn’t like those tendencies, then you should have stayed away from him. You knew he had them since day one. And, I’m willing to bet, that if he didn’t have those tendencies, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day and that they are one of the biggest reasons you fell for him. Face it, you’re alpha yourself and could walk over any one that wasn’t as strong as you. And I was not being melodramatic. You may not have seen his face but he’s devastated and he needs some support.”

“What about me?” Brennan asked again, so surprised at Angela’s uncharacteristic reaction that she made an appeal she had never made before. “You’re my friend and I need your help, too.”

“Not as much as he does,” Angela answered in one of the coldest voices Brennan had ever heard from her. “And he’s my friend too. So, if you'll excuse me.” She hesitated, wanting to run after Booth and debating whether to take the time to tell Brennan what she thought of her recent behavior. In the end, she was so mad about how her friend had been treating Booth that she couldn’t keep quite. “You know, that man has done nothing but stand by you since he met you. He’s defended you and fought for you. He’s supported you through everything, he understands all your hang ups and neuroses,” Angela ignored Brennan’s sputter and continued talking.

“He’s waited for you to come to terms with your feelings and has withstood everything you’ve thrown at him. He’s respected and encouraged your independence and yet, he is there if you need him. He knows and understands you better than even me. He’s risked his career and life more times than either of us probably knows. After my father and Hodgins, he’s the best man I know and he’s the best damn thing that has ever happened to you.” She stopped for a breath before continuing, “But the only thing you’ve done since you met him is fight him every step of the way and run away more times than I can count. I don’t know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours, but if you push someone far enough, sooner of later they’re going to break. I guess you finally found Booth’s breaking point.” With that she turned around and took a few steps away from the table.

Before she went too far though, she stopped and returned because she found she still had more to say. “You know what just happened here?” She waved with her hand to indicate Booth walking out. “That wasn’t you getting dumped that was Booth giving up. I never thought I’d see the day when Seeley Booth would give up on anything – especially on you. But I guess, Dr. Brennan, you just had to prove us all wrong.” Angela shook her head again and with a sad sigh said, “I hope you’re happy now.” And with a last look at a stupefied Brennan she turned around and tried to catch up to Booth.

Turi ray of sunshine

Posted 28/09/2007 02:02:51 PM

I remember reading this one at the other site ... I liked it ... are you going to post the rest?!?!?... and I can see that happening especially if Brennan is putting her walls back up for some unknown reason (I know you explain it later on)… so PLEASE post the rest… OH and I see Angela reacting like that she is not afraid to tell Brennan when she feels she is being kinda bitchy!!
Great writing!!!

luli27

Posted 28/09/2007 07:42:08 PM

Thank you, Turi!! I'm glad you liked it and yes I will be posting the rest. The original five chapters were never betaed, so now Puppet is betaing it for me and I'll post those and the following chapters as she gets through with them. Thank you again!!!!

luli27

Posted 04/10/2007 04:42:53 PM

bumping it cause I don't think too many people got to see it!

fanofbones

Posted 04/10/2007 09:56:47 PM

Well I just read it and now I want more...
please....................................................
and good on Angela for telling her off....
what are best friends for anyway!!

you are fabulously talented my dear....

more

fab

luli27

Posted 04/10/2007 10:05:21 PM

Thank you, fob. I do have more written. I'm just waiting on the puppet to finisih betaing it and I'll post it. She says she should have some ready soon. And really, thank you; I'm glad you like my writing.

Bella Loony



Luli,

I have read this one, I am just not sure where!! Either the other site or FF, I love this one, you better post more soon!! Loved it!

DDBL

luli27

Posted 05/10/2007 08:46:18 PM

I have quite a few chapters of this fic. I'm just waiting for Puppet to finish betaing it. So, if you want more chaps, ask her to hurry!!
sorry, puppet

luli27

Posted 13/10/2007 11:36:22 PM

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: They're not mine and I cry myself to sleep every night over it!!

Angela hurried out of the restaurant, hoping that she hadn’t taken so long that Booth would have already left. But when she got to the parking lot, she saw that he was standing by his SUV with the keys in his hand, looking like he didn’t know what to do with them. She hurried to catch up to him, wondering what she was going to tell him that could possibly make him feel better.

When she was standing next to him, she put her hand on his arm and said, “Booth?” He didn’t answer and she called him again, “Booth?”

He finally looked up, looking like he was coming out of a trance, “Angela?” He shook his head and Angela saw him visibly try to pull himself together. “I drove tonight, didn’t I?” He asked with a smile that resembled more a grimace than anything else.

“Yes,” she answered, nodding her head.

“You think you could call Hodgins and ask him to pick you up?” He asked. “I’m sorry, I know I should take you guys home but I . . . I just need to get out of here.” He explained.

“Don’t worry about it,” Angela said waving aside the apology and explanation. “I’ll call Jack and he’ll be here soon. But are you ok to drive?” She asked because she had never seen him look like that before. He looked defeated and if there was a word that she had never thought she would apply to Seeley Booth, it was defeat. He always seemed so sure of himself, always so certain that there had to be a way out, always so strong that it was disconcerting to see him look so lost and broken. She did not know how to deal with a vanquished and resigned Booth.

“I’ll be fine, Angela. Don’t worry,” he answered with a half smile that looked nothing like his usual.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” she said, after a slight hesitation. She wasn’t sure whether he wanted to talk but Angela had never been one to keep silent when she had something to say.

“Me too, Angela, me too.” Booth answered as he shifted his gaze to the entrance of the restaurant.

“Booth, are you sure?” She asked, slowly feeling her way.

He gave a small laugh that was more bitter than humorous. “Am I sure?” He repeated shaking his head. “Hell, Angela, I think that about the only thing I’m sure of right now is my name and even that is iffy.”

“Then could you have overreacted?” she asked, because regardless of what she had told Brennan and however mad she was at her, Angela knew the two loved each other and she couldn’t bear to see them end like this. She knew that neither would be the same if they couldn’t find a way to mend things between them and though she did think Brennan had pushed him too far, she wanted him to be receptive when Brennan came to her senses.

“Overreacted?” He asked, incredulous. “Didn’t you see how she was looking at that guy?”

Angela shook her head, “No, not really.” And she hadn’t, she had only seen Booth’s reaction to whatever Brennan had done. “But you’re not really going to call it quits because of a look, are you? After everything you’ve gone through?”

“No, of course not, that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back,” he answered, thinking how, if he said that to Bones, she would have no idea what he meant.

“Well, then, maybe you two could talk. Booth, you know Brennan, sometimes she just . "

“No, please Angela,” Booth interrupted her, putting his hand up to stop her. “I don’t want to hear anymore excuses.”

“It’s not an excuse.” She argued. “It’s an . . .”

“An explanation,” he said, interrupting her again. “a rationalization. At the end, it’s all the same, believe me. And I’m tired of them; I’m tired of hearing them and of coming up with them. Sometimes, it seems like all I’ve done in this relationship is come up with ways to rationalize or explain her behavior.” He paused and he shifted so that he could lean his shoulder on the SUV. “I just thought that we were past all that, you know. I thought we finally reached a place where they weren’t needed anymore.”

“Booth,” she said after a few moments where she thought of what she could say, finally coming back to the same explanation. “She’s probably just . . .”

“Scared. I know.” He finished her thought. “And it probably doesn’t have much to do with me directly as much as with her past. I know that too.”

“Well, then?” She asked. “What’s different now? I mean, you’ve always known of her problems with the past. And you’ve never had any problems with it; you’ve always understood.”

“I know, and I don’t have a problem with giving her time to work through things or working through them together. But, it’s different this time. I’m not sure how, but it’s just like she’s not there anymore.” He sighed and pushed his hand through his hair. He was trying to explain something he himself didn’t really understand because it had only began to become clear in the past few days. “Before I could feel her, no matter what was going on – regardless of how scared she was, she was there. I knew she was fighting her demons and that she was with me, that she wanted us and was willing to work for it. Sure, she retreated sometimes and I had to pull her back, but I still felt her with me, you know. Even if she wasn’t 100 percent there, I could feel that she wanted to be there. I could feel our connection.” He paused to sigh again before saying in a frustrated voice, “I’m not explaining this right.”

“No, you’re explaining it just right.” Angela disagreed. “I know what you mean. When you love someone and they love you, you can feel it. I feel the same with Jack. And the connection you guys share is strong – heck, we all feel it.”

Booth nodded and went on. “But that’s the thing, Angela. I can barely feel that connection anymore. I mean, it’s been there practically since the moment we met and from one moment to the next.” He paused and shook his head as he extended his hand, as if to grasp something that wasn’t there. “It’s almost like it is fading. I try to hold on and I can’t and the harder I try, it seems, the faster it fades. It’s like trying to hold sand or water in your hand – you can’t. And I don’t know why. I don’t what happened, if it was something I did or not, because she won’t talk to me. She won’t tell me what’s going on.
And it’s not just right now; this, whatever it is, has been going for at least three months. She’s been steadily, but surely, pulling back and no matter what I do, I can’t bring her back – it’s almost like she doesn’t want to come back. We’re barely spending any time together outside of work nowadays. She won’t come to dinner or lunch with me because there’s too much work at the lab; we don’t have breakfast together because she hasn’t stayed over in over a month and every time I’m at her place and even hint of staying, she’s practically pushing me out of the door. Hell, she’s even choosing to stay at the lab instead of coming out into the field, and I got tired of always fighting to get her out. The only reason she came out to dinner tonight was because you forced her. I can’t even do that anymore.”

Booth paused for a moment and Angela nodded to show that she understood what he was saying. They’d all noticed that Brennan hadn’t been herself lately; that she was pulling further and further away from everyone and no one had been able to get her to talk. That was why Angela was so mad at her.

“I know, we’ve all noticed it.” She said. “I guess I just figured it was a phase and it would pass.”

“Yeah, me too” he said in a weary voice. “But it’s not going, it seems to be here to stay. And I’m tired of it, Angela. I’m so tired of always having to fight for every inch she gives and then having to fight to keep it; it’s like for every two steps forward we take, she takes one and half back. And I’m just . . .I’m just tired,” he repeated. “I’m on the verge of being sick and tired of it. I mean I know relationships are work; and they should be. Nothing worthwhile should be free and I’m not afraid of hard work. But this, this has become back-breaking, heart-aching, soul-destroying work. And I don’t think I can keep doing it, especially if I’m the one doing all the work and she no longer has an interest in doing her part.” Booth stopped, closed his eyes and tilted his head back to try and regain the control he’d been steadily losing since he started to pour his heart out to Angela.

“She loves you, Booth,” Angela finally said, not knowing what else to tell him. She could see he was emotionally spent and she knew that he had put everything he was and had into the relationship he now saw falling to pieces. She didn’t have anything else to offer him, except, “I may not know much, but I do know she loves you.”

He turned his head to look at her and with the saddest smile she had ever seen on anyone and said, “I know. I know she loves me and I think that makes this even harder because I guess she just doesn’t love enough to leave the past in the past.” He paused and shook his head, as he once again turned it to look at the night sky. “If she didn’t love me, then it’d be easier to tell myself that this wasn’t worth it and force myself to move on. But as it is. . .” He trailed off and Angela finished for him.

“As it is because you know she loves you, you keep hoping that everything will be fine and you’ll finally have the happy ending.”

“Yes,” he agreed with a self-deprecating chuckle. “You know, after everything I’ve done in my life maybe I just don’t deserve a happy ending.”

“Booth, don’t say that.” Angela protested, as she put a hand on his arm and squeezed it. “You’re one of the best men I know.”

“Thank you,” he said humbly, as he continued to study the stars. “But you don’t know a fraction of what I’ve done and maybe this is my payment for it. Maybe I’m not fated for a happy ending or even a peaceful ending. But you know what,” he said, as he suddenly straightened and turned to face her, shaking off most if not all of the almost destructive mood he had fallen into. “Ok, so maybe I don’t deserve a happy ending, fine I can deal with that. And maybe I don’t even deserve to feel lasting peace,” and he couldn’t image that he would ever feel true peace again without Temperance, when the only peace he had known in the last few years had been in her arms.

“But I think I at least deserve some calm in my life and some stability, some security. If I was sure of her, if I was sure that what we have was as important for her as it was for me, I could keep bringing her back as many times as necessary – just as I’ve been doing. But that sense of security I had always felt. . . It’s gone, just like our connection, it seems to be disappearing and there’s nothing I can do. And that’s what’s different.” He finally said answering the question Angela had posed at the beginning of the conversation. “And that is why I can’t keep doing this.”

Angela nodded to show she understood his reasoning but before she could say anything, they heard, “Booth?”

Both froze at Brennan’s voice, they had been so involved in their talk that neither had heard her footsteps and neither knew how long she’d been there or how much she’d heard.

“Booth?” she called again when he didn’t respond.

Angela, who was still facing him, saw as he closed his eyes, took a big breath and visibly pulled himself together once again. But this time when he opened his eyes, she almost didn’t recognize him. The tired, sad and open man she had just been talking with was no longer there. In his place was a man she didn’t know; if she hadn’t known how to deal with a defeated Booth, she had at least recognized in him the Booth she’d always known. But the man looking at her now was a complete stranger, the eyes that were always so expressive, were now blank, empty. She had seen a variety of emotions in Booth’s eyes, everything from mischief (which she saw very often) to happiness, to anger, and even despair; she’d had always seen some sort of emotions in them, had even been able to judge his mood by looking at them. But now, those eyes were empty; those beautiful chocolate pools showed nothing, except, her own reflection.

As Booth slowly turned to face Brennan, Angela realized that she had just met Ranger Booth and for the first time since she met him, she realized just how deadly he could be – oh, she knew he could be dangerous, but had never realized that he could be deadly or how easily he could switch to that mode.

“Yes?” he asked in a voice that showed as much emotion as his eyes – in other words, none whatsoever.

Brennan also noticed the absence of emotions in his eyes and voice and it took her aback so that it took a few moments before she could speak. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t” he answered in that same tone.

“Yes, we do,” she insisted. “There are things we need to . . .”

But Booth put his hand up and stopped her from finishing her thought. “There really is nothing more to say, nothing else I care to discuss. But I know you, so let me put your mind at ease, Brennan.”

Both Brennan and Angela flinched at that. It wasn’t the utterly emotionless voice, but the fact that he called her Brennan, that made Brennan gasp and Angela’s mouth dropped open. He had never, ever called her Brennan; it was always either Bones or Temperance, if he was feeling particularly emotional, and if he was introducing her to someone then it was Dr. Brennan. But, Brennan, just Brennan? He had never called her that. And it was funny, in the saddest possible meaning of the word, how much it could hurt to hear the name that almost everyone else used coming out of the lips of the man she loved.

“We agreed when we started this,” and he waved his hand between them to indicate their relationship, apparently not noticing or not caring about her reaction to his chosen form of address. “whatever this was, that we would not let it interfere with our work. And it won’t. Tomorrow is Friday and since we just finished the case, I think I’m taking it as a sick day. By Monday, I’ll be ready to continue with our partnership.” And by the way he said ‘partnership’, both women knew he was talking about their work relationship. “But it would probably be best if we don’t talk until then.” He then nodded his head once in a sort of farewell before turning to Angela again.

“But Booth,” Brennan tried again, when she finally found her voice, but he was talking to Angela and didn’t or wouldn’t listen to her.

“Call Hodgins,” he told Angela and she nodded. “And it might be better if you waited inside.” He waited to see her nod again before he got into the SUV, started it up and drove away. All the while ignoring Brennan’s repeated calls to talk.

fanofbones
Posted 14/10/2007 10:47:49 PM

awwwwwwwwwww luli...this is so sad and so good...poor Booth...
make it better please.....surely she has a good reason...well...a Brennan reason

fab

luli27

Posted 14/10/2007 11:46:49 PM

fab, don't worry. I'll make it all better . . . in due time. I am not an agnst fun. but it'll be a couple of days before I can post the rest. Puppet has them and she's taken them hostage. Won't let me post them together! but, I'll have next chapter up soon!

he is a wee little
puppet man

Posted 17/10/2007 02:12:39 PM

um, luli!!!!! umm, i do believe i said one every other day. not every four days! hehe post already woman! is that good enough? but only one chap, keep everyone in suspense!

And you know that i absolutely love this fic!!!

love it love it love it!!!!

now hurry up and post!! hehe

luli27

Posted 17/10/2007 07:40:47 PM

k, puppet! K! I'll post already. Sorry all about the delay, here's the next chapter!!

Chapter 3

Disclaimer:Nope, still not mine.

A few seconds later Booth pulled away from the parking space and left the restaurant parking lot. And both Angela and Brennan were once again watching him leave. When Brennan recovered enough from the shock of seeing the man who had swore he would never leave her, drive away from her, she turned to Angela to see her closing her phone after presumably talking to Hodgins and asking him to come pick them up.

“Why?” was the only thing that Brennan could think to say.

Angela looked up at her after she put her phone away and asked, “Why what?”

“Why did you let him drive away?” Brennan couldn’t help the accusatory tone in her voice.

“Why?” Angela repeated again. “Because he needed to go,” was the simple answer.

“He needed to go?” Brennan repeated disbelievingly. “I needed to talk to him!! And you had to know that. Why couldn’t you try to stop him?”

“And how could I have done that?” Angela asked, tilting her head to the side and watching Brennan attentively.

“How? By telling him you couldn’t call Hodgins and he needed to take us home.”

Angela just shook her head and answered reasonably, “That wouldn’t have worked. He would have just had me call a taxi.”

“Angela,” Brennan said again, as she crossed her arms, and narrowed her eyes. “I needed to talk to him and you could have helped me.”

“Maybe,” Angela conceded. “But he needed to leave more than you needed to talk to him.”

“He. . .” Brennan just sputtered, not sure what she could say to that statement. Actually she wasn’t sure what world she was in right now, in the space of thirty minutes everything seemed to have gone up side down and now she felt almost like Alice must have felt when she stumbled into the other world in that ridiculous movie Booth had made her watch a few months ago. “Angela, you’re supposed to be my friend.” She finally said, and though she wasn’t sure whether it was a rational argument at the moment, it was all she could come up with.

“I am, but like I told you earlier, he’s my friend too.” She answered, as she tried to steer Brennan back to the restaurant.

But Brennan was having none of it; quite unlike any other time, she wanted to talk about this, because she didn’t really understand what had happened and she wanted, no she needed to understand it. If her relationship with Booth was finally over, like it seemed to be, then she needed to know why and how.

“Angela,” she said, and it was the softness of the voice and the almost lost quality to it that had Angela turning to face her.

She sighed and with a warmer voice than she had used previously said, “Brennan,”

At the softer tone, Brennan jumped in and asked, “Angela what the hell happened? Why did Booth overreact like that?”

Angela just looked at her, like Brennan had grown two heads, and the softening of her face stopped. “Not even you can be that clueless, Brennan.”

Brennan opened her mouth to respond to the insult, but Angela just kept talking. She shook her head and started to talk, “You’ve been pulling away from him and pushing him away from you for months now, and you have to ask me what’s wrong? You flirt with another guy in front of him when you’re barely talking to him and you think he overreacted? God, Brennan, sometimes you leave me speechless.”

She shook her head once more and turned to walk away, a few steps later she turned back and continued, “You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you what happened. You finally proved yourself right.” She knew she was just repeating what she had said inside, but she had no other words to explain this mess. “You’re so scared of being left behind once again, that you’re hell bent on leaving first. And if you can’t, well, then you just have to prove that he will by making it impossible for him to stay.”

“That’s not true,” Brennan protested, violently shaking her head in denial. “I don’t do that. I haven’t done that. I don’t want him to leave.”

“Really?” Angela asked in a disbelieving tone, “because you have sure made a perfect imitation of someone who wanted to get rid of her boyfriend these last few months. You no longer talk on phone, if the conversation does not relate to work; you refuse to go out into the field or to dinner or lunch. Worse, even when you’re there, you’re no longer there.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Brennan said.

“You know,” Angela said with another shake of her head. “You not knowing pop culture references, used to be endearing, but right now, it’s just annoying.” Angela said exasperated.

“Well, excuse me if I’m not. . .” Brennan started to respond as she bristled at the insult and pulled back.

“Oh, stop it.” Angela said as she put her hands on her hips and shaking her head yet again, looked at the floor and tried to calm herself. “Don’t get all insulted, ok? I didn’t mean it. It’s just that I’m so angry and frustrated with you, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I just watched you throw away the best thing that could happen to anyone and you don’t even seem to realize it. I’ve tried and tried to talk to you, to get you to tell me what is going on, but you just wouldn’t. And I just spent the last ten minutes consoling the guy whose heart you just broke, so I’m not feeling particularly patient.”

They stood there for a few minutes, Brennan watching Angela calm down and Angela wondering what she was supposed to do now.

Finally, Angela looked back at Brennan and said, “You are my friend, Bren, and I love you. But sometimes you are the most difficult person I have ever met. For all that you know, sometimes it seems that you are the most oblivious person I know. Look, I know you had a rough childhood,” though Brennan stiffened and seemed to pull back even more, Angela continued. She had to say this, it was high time someone said it to her, because if no one did, then Brennan was never going to be more than what she was right now; and Angela didn’t want her friend to end up alone and bitter.

“You’ve gone through things no one should have to go through, especially a child. And yet, you overcame them all and became an amazing person and an incredible friend. But, honey, you’ve never really got over the past. And maybe you shouldn’t, I don’t know. Maybe something that traumatic can’t be gotten over, but you can’t let it rule your life, either. You are an amazing person and the best forensic anthropologist. You fought for it and you achieved it. You’ve always fought for what you wanted – when it comes to your career. But in your personal life, you’re so scared of being hurt that you’ve shut down your emotions for most of your life. And I understand that, I do. After what you went through, it is the logical reaction. But you can’t go through life closed off from your emotions because then you are not really living.”

Brennan had become very still when Angela began talking about her past and Angela could see that Brennan wanted to be anywhere else but there, but something was keeping her there. And at the mention of her being closed off, she protested, “I’m not closed off. I haven’t been since I met you. I mean you’re my best friend and I have . . . had Booth, and the guys at the lab and Cam. I think I’ve opened my life and emotions quite a lot in the last few years.”

“Yes, you have. But not totally, and you still hide behind your past. For someone so brave and adventurous in every other area of life, you are more likely to avoid emotions and to run from relationships, whenever they get to be too intense, than to fight for them. That’s what you’ve been doing with Booth since you met him. Why did it take over two years to get together? Because you knew he wouldn’t be content with just parts of you, he would want all of you. And that scared the crap out of you, so you ran.”

“But we got together. We became a couple and I was happy.” Brennan protested.

“I know. And that’s why I can’t understand why you’ve been acting like you have these past few months. Bren, you have to let the past go; you have to leave it in the past. And you have to start living in the present. You can’t let the past and your fears rule your life; you can’t keep blaming what you went through, every time you’re tempted to run away, because the emotions you’re feeling are so powerful they scare you. We all have a past, maybe not as traumatic as yours, but we all have our own demons to deal with. There just comes a point in all our lives when we have to say enough; when we have to stop using the past as an excuse or crutch and own up to the fact that the present and future are our responsibility. That the lives we have are the lives we’ve made. So we better be damn sure that they are the lives we want, because at the end of the day, we can’t blame anyone else but ourselves if we’re not happy with them.”

She paused and noted that Brennan’s face had gone rigid. She sighed and said softly, “I’m not saying this to hurt you, Bren. I’m saying it because I love you and I want you to be happy and I think Booth is your best chance at happiness. I know that if you let him go, because of whatever fears and hung ups you have from the past, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

After Angela finished saying her piece, they fell silent. Angela didn’t think there was anything else she could say to make Brennan see reason and Brennan had too many thoughts going around in her head for her to be able to say anything.

A few minutes later, as Angela saw Hodgins’ car coming down the street, she added, “One more thing. Booth really is one of the best men I know and whatever else he may think, he deserves happiness. If you don’t think that you’ll be able to finally let go of the past completely and really commit yourself to him, heart and soul, then maybe it would be best if you guys ended. This give and take, roller coaster ride you’ve been on for the past three years, is not fair to either of you. And I know, whatever he said right now, that if you went and talked to him after he’s calmed down, he’d take you back because he loves you – he really loves you more than anyone else, except Parker. So, if you can’t really give him what he needs, what he deserves, then let him go, Bren. That may be the kindest thing you could for him – and the best thing for you.”

She paused as she saw Hodgins come into the parking lot and couldn’t resist adding, “I really hope you can let the past go and finally give yourself to Booth, sweetie.” She said, as she gave Brennan a one arm hug. She then looked into Brennan’s eyes and said in the most sincere and almost pleading voice she had, “Honey, please give yourself the chance to really love him, without reservations or trepidation. I promise it’ll be so worth it. And I know that neither of you will really ever be happy unless you do. It’s all in your hands now, hon. What ever you decide, it’s all up to you.”

fanofbones

Posted 18/10/2007 09:44:06 PM

I loved this chapter....finally Angela talkin some sense into her pea brain....at last....
but the plot thickens......dundundundun.....
is it too late?
nah.....................right?

loved chica
moremoremoremoremore
soonsoonsoonsoonsoonsoon

fab

luli27

Posted 19/10/2007 00:21:37 AM

thank you, fab. I love your reviews and I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow!!! Puppet is going to let that chapter go tomorrow, lol

oh, and to find out if it's too late, you'll have to wait, won't you?? hehe, oh the power!!